


Best Laid Plans

by shimmer_like_agirl



Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fill, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-13
Updated: 2018-11-13
Packaged: 2019-08-22 23:17:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16607303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shimmer_like_agirl/pseuds/shimmer_like_agirl
Summary: Prompt fill for @pillarspromptsweekly #48: Summoned. Shenanigans threaten to ensue when Adira is abruptly summoned to speak with the gods and her companions are left in the lurch.





	Best Laid Plans

They were four strong, spread out around one of The Wild Mare’s back tables with their cups half empty. Serafen lustily drained the rest of his pint and motioned at a passing barmaid for a second and third round before turning his attention back to the conversation at hand. “Once, I woke up in naught but a nightshirt in a hold full up of squid.”

“That’s nothing.” Xoti made a valiant effort to match her companion’s pint consumption, but came up slightly short. “Twice in one week, I woke up in a dug-up grave. Buck naked. Coffin busted. No corpse to be found.” She paused to wipe at the dribble of ale that coursed down her chin. “And that was before the dreams started.”

“Only twice?” The orlan gifted her with a knowing wink. “And here I were thinking you were exciting.” He racked his brain for something that could top the priest’s tale, but found nothing. “I reckon you got me beat there.”

Xoti beamed a happy smile that lit up her whole face. “That mean I win?”

“Not so fast there, lass. You need to be giving everyone a chance to play.”

“Oh come on! Lookit them over there, they ain’t even listening to our stories,” she said with a wave of her hand to the opposite side of the table where the Watcher sat with Ydwin, their heads bowed together as they pored over the scientist’s stack of parchment. “It ain’t hardly fair.”

“Be that as it may, wouldn’t be polite to not give our fearless leader at least a chance to offer up a tale of her own. Call me a drunken bilge rat, but I’d wager she be fully capable of giving us both a run for our money.” A sharp whistle accompanied the clap of his hands as he attempted to get the Watcher’s attention. “Yo! Adira!”

An uncharacteristic look of annoyance crossed the woman’s face at the interruption. She shook her head, her dark curls bouncing slightly with the sudden movement. “You realize we’re here waiting to meet with a contact from the Vailian Trading Company, right? Maybe you could slow down with the drunken carousing until after it’s over?”

Serafen grimaced slightly, but shrugged off the admonishment, knowing the words were born of the stress she was under. “Mayhaps you can survive a conversation with the likes of ‘em completely sober, but us common folk here need a wee bit of liquid courage so as we don’t be hauling off and punching ‘em right in the nose.”

“No punching, Serafen, we talked about this already.” Adira closed her eyes, rubbing her temples in the hopes of staving off an oncoming headache. “If it means no fist fights during my meeting, I’ll bite. What are you two going on about?”

“Just a lil friendly competition, cap,” the orlan said by way of explanation. “A few coppers on the line is all. What’s the strangest circumstances you ever woke from?”

“You mean besides waking up on a ship purchased by the statued head of my Steward, with gold scrounged from the remains of my destroyed castle, after being returned from the In-Between by a god who tasked me with tracking down another god? And all this after finding out I’ve lost part of my soul in the process?”

“Well, obviously, yes. Besides that.”

With pursed lips, Adira appeared deep in thought, giving careful consideration to which of her tales would suitably impress her companions. The resulting grin that curved her lips announced she’d made a decision, but before she could share with the group she went unexpectedly silent.

The Watcher’s weight shifted suddenly, leaning to the left and causing Ydwin to grunt quietly as she attempted to keep the now inert body from collapsing across her own. After a mild struggle, she soon had the other woman pushed back up into a sitting position, her momentary irritability subsiding into genuine curiosity. “Adira? Are you quite alright?”

Serafen leaned across the table to wave a blue hand in front of the ranger’s face, not entirely surprised sure what to make of it when she remained unresponsive. “I don’t think she be among us anymore, lass.”

“Holy Hel! You think she’s dead?” Xoti moved around to occupy the empty seat next to Adira, gently pressing her fingers against the other woman’s. Upon this close inspection, it was apparent the Watcher was still very much alive.“Naw, she ain’t dead. She’s breathin’ alright, she just ain’t... _here_.”

“This is fascinating!” Ydwin announced, turning over the piece of parchment she’d been reading so that she could start scribbling on the empty side. “I wonder if this is a Watcher thing, or if it’s a new development?” She asked the question to herself, clearly not interested in the opinion of the other two. “Her eyes are open, but not seeing. Her breathing is shallow, but steady. Complete loss of motor control….” She continued to write down her observations as she spoke them. “Reminiscent of accounts of Hollowborn back in Dyrwood. Absolutely fascinating.”

“I’m real glad you’re so overjoyed with our friend’s weird condition,” Xoti commented with just a hint of sarcasm. “D’you think you might stop write your notes long enough to help us figure out what in Hel we’re supposed to do now? In case you forgot, Pallegina’s bringing her contact here to meet the Watcher. She’s probably expecting her to be...y’know...alive an’ all.”

The three fell into silent contemplation as they each considered their options. It was Serafen who spoke first, having come up with a rather unorthodox solution to the predicament. “Am I right in thinking this here contact has yet to meet our intrepid Watcher?” After confirming nods from the other two, he continued. “Alright then, here’s what we be doing. We need to jimmy up some sort of system that’ll let us control her movements…..make her nod and shake her head...shit like that.”

“We could tie a string to a hat!”

“Yes! Like that! You’re a fucking genius, Xoti.” He removed his tri-corner hat and placed it firmly on the Watcher’s head, careful not to jostle her too much. “See now, if we do this, we can have ‘Adira’ answering this chap’s questions with him none the wiser that she’s mostly left our mortal plane.”

“But what about her eyes? See how they’re all glazed over now? No one’s gonna think that looks natural.”

“Easy as pie.” The orlan motioned towards Ydwin who, so far, had remained quiet. “Give us your glasses, lass.”

“Why? What are you going to do? Draw another set of eyes on them?”

“Don’t be stupid,” Serafen said with a roll of his eyes. “We’ll just darken them with some ash from the fire over there, slip them on her, and boom, no more glazed eyes to be seen and giving away our secret.”

“This is the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard.” Ydwin pushed her chair back from the table, hoping to keep her glasses out of reach. “There’s no way this this is going to fool anyone.”

“You got a better fucking idea then? I’d like to hear it.”

It was Ydwin’s turn to roll her eyes. “Why not just ask Edér to come downstairs and carry her back up to their room? He’s undoubtedly more experienced at dealing with her in these situations. Then when this contact shows up we tell them that she fell ill and arrange a meeting for another time.”

“Well that’s...hardly exciting. I were hoping for some bloody shenanigans today.” He considered her idea and sighed heavily. “S’pose she wouldn’t look too kindly on us manipulating her just for kicks and ruining her plans.”

“Probably not.”

“Can we at least try it out on Edér, though? Just to see what he does?”

“Only if you promise to wash my glasses off when you’re done.”

Serafen grinned widely at her answer and held out a hand which she reluctantly shook. “You got yourself a fucking deal.”


End file.
